9 years on supply since probation year. Four short fixed term contracts in between.

I became a secondary English teacher because teaching is my calling and don't want to do anything else. I was an EFL teacher before.

I thought that I would be spending my summer holidays back home with my mother and childhood friends under the sun. I thought that I would be spending Christmas and Easter with my mother and friends every year. I thought I'd be spending New Year's celebrating in NYC or London or Berlin. I thought that I'd have a car so I can go on road trips on the weekends and the freedom of not relying on public transport. I thought I'd have bought property by the time I was 40. I thought that I would be able to get a personal trainer and lose the extra weight that's been bothering me the last 15 years. I thought I would probably have children after I find someone to spend my life with . I thought that I would find a school, put down roots and create long and valuable relationships with staff, students, and the community...Instead, I'm extremely unhappy(depressed at times), embarrassed to be 44 years old and have achieved not a single thing out of all the things I thought I would have by now. I also don't recognise myself anymore. What have I become? My break from work is only when there's no work, I'm on work mode all year round in case work comes up, but even when there's no work I can't go on a holiday because I need to be here in case some work comes up. I spend school holidays at home. I don't have the financial means to do any of the things that would make my life worth living...And yet, I still want to teach, I'm still trying to 'be a proper teacher'-because for the past 10 years I've only been a supply teacher.